Coping

by Nick Krefting

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1.
Sparrow 03:58
Today I heard a sparrow singing From an icy branch outside Today it sounded like a warning A conscience and a guide I carry war inside my body I breed corruption in my bones My learning only speaks in violence My people want me all alone Remember that you've got a power You're more than what you want You're not entitled to somebody You're not so innocent Gut check all that I take for granted Internalize all I have heard I'm capable of making nightmares Of ending lives without a word I split in two, denied my old soul Come back to me, along the old roads I split in two I spend my days denying anger Can't get out of my own way I wring my hands and stay complacent To make it through the day I carry war inside my body I breed corruption in my bones My learning only speaks in violence My people want me all alone
2.
Sediment 03:19
I'm trying to keep my head above The sediment that I've built up The decades of bad habits and excuses I'm trying to ignore the bits That might just be trivial to fix A lifetime of coping, of wishing and hoping. No reason No feeling Just take me home I'm trying out a new routine A way to keep my temple clean And just like that, a week and it's abandoned I'm trying to open up some more To make connections, even up the score But when it comes to it, I just don't go through it. The road to hell is paved with good intentions And my deeds are much too menial to mention So I'll write another song about being sad I'm crying out, or I wish I would I'd get some help, yeah I know I should But I'll just stay quiet, I won't even try it No reason No feeling Just take me home I'm sorry These rough days I want you to know
3.
We are gonna have a lot of time We can get together for a drink We can get it done before the end of October There's a little voice inside my mind Telling me to grow up and get it together We can do it all before the end of October I'll take the long way around And I'll see you on the ground Drawings in the dirt that fade away Save my best for another day Some other day Life has funny ways of breaking plans Years can disappear without a trace So if we just survive until the end of October We'll take the long way around And I'll see you on the ground Drawings in the dirt that fade away Save my best for another day Some other day
4.
Let You Down 03:33
We're on the other side Of another week My body's tired Can't hardly speak Here comes another day Of counting down to sleep It hurts to say But the winter's deep If I run and hide Who do I let down If I don't confide Who wants me around How can I build If I keep falling down I don't have the will I'll just let you down I don't have the will I'm gonna let you down I'm gonna waste your time I'm gonna get too angry at myself I'm gonna let you down I'm gonna sit and mope I'm gonna steal your thunder I won't learn I'll never learn There goes another day Not doing anything Sometimes I can't Remember how to sing I'm up to bat Can't bring myself to swing It's that time of year I don't feel anything It's that time of year That I let you down That I waste your time That I get too angry at myself Yeah I let you down And I sit and mope I stole your thunder I didn't learn I'll never learn
5.
I turned the page again but couldn't see at all I tried to change again but couldn't change it all I got a new name Still got that old shame I got a history of feeling unfulfilled Replace the memory and muster up the will Got me a new name I'll work on my old shame through the same old pain I still remember, I still remember the way I still remember, I keep the feelings at bay I still remember, I still remember to smile I still remember, though it's been a while It's been a while, I still remember to smile I faded out again, you felt me pull away I'm halfway gone, you said, I couldn't name the day I got a new name But I'm full of that old shame and the same old pain I still remember, I still remember the way I still remember, I keep the feelings at bay I still remember, I still remember to smile I still remember, though it's been a while I still remember to smile
6.
You said my name, I was hardly listening Lost in a daydream bout the future I was trying to find the words But I never ever heard What you told me Sitting alone, your skin was crawling Nowhere to go, suffocating I was seeking peace of mind You were feeling left behind What does that make me? I can't see the forest or the trees Caught between the forest and the trees I lit a flame, you held the matches Lit every candle when I asked you You hid yourself away So that I could be ok What does that make me? I can't see the forest or the trees Caught between the forest and the trees I can't see
7.
I been down, shriveled up Disconnected from everything I divide, toss it away Pieces scattered to the wind, how do I Put myself back together I never wanted to take space Hope that no one will notice me All's fair, til it's not Tired of feeling like nothing at all, how do I Put myself back together Ooh it's easier said than done But this ain't helping anyone I been down, shriveled up Hid away and I dimmed my light Thought it was logical But that's no way to live a life, how do I Put myself back together But I'm terrified of making trouble If I run and hide it won't be no trouble Ooh it's easier said than done But this ain't helping anyone
8.
You get to see The worst of me And me too I get the worst of you But we still bring out the best in each other Some nights it seems We forgot our dreams We pass some days In a weary haze But we can bring out the best in each other We were holding hands and smiling as we walked along the sea We were acting like the people that we always tried to be In forty years I'll still be here And I know you Will be here too And we will bring out the best in each other Yeah we will bring out the best in each other

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released August 1, 2022

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Nick Krefting Boston, Massachusetts

making music after the kid goes to sleep. learning by doing.

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